'
Lair' should be retitled to '
Turd.' Seriously. This is a title I have been waiting for since launch. The graphics looked great, the story sounded great, and the controls sounded like it would be great- until you play it. Granted, I had already heard about it getting totally panned before the game got into my gnarled up soon-to-be arthritic hands. I figured 'the proof is in the pudding. I'll see what it's like when I play it.'
The graphics are good- a 7/10 for next gen (is it 'now-gen' yet??) consoles. Too much pop up in the cut scene where the Guardians need to be rescued on the bridge. Other than that, some cut-scenes are great.
The sound gets a 10. While my current reciever has PLIIx, its not an actual 7.1 reciever in terms of getting the signal from the PS3. The symphonic music tracks are excellent and stirring, and the sounds coming from all around while playing is pretty sweet. It's all pretty crisp and clear. The voice acting, on the other hand, is gay. In fact, there is a scene where 3 guys are standing next to eachother and the main character says something gay like 'Blood shall rain down from the heavens and gay gay gay..!' and the guy next to him looks at him like he's stupid. I know that's not what was intended, but I dare you to watch it and not think that for yourself. Music great, acting baaad.
Now for the controls.
Flying the dragon in battle (when there is shit happening all around you and you're panicing to get to the real fight) is kinda like trying to chop a tree down with a limp dick. Yes. A real, rubber, limp, dick. Ok, it's not
just like it, but you get the same feel of frustration by not getting the job done. Factor 5 gets an applaud for trying something new, and then gets an immediate slap in the face with that very same rubber dick. The training levels do help out some, but everything you learn tends to take a backseat while you are trying to figure out which of the 500 dragons on screen are shooting at you, your groundtroops, and the objectives. Thankfully, I watched that video I posted a couple days ago and relaxed and flew the dragon. I think I may have smashed my controller in anger and fed it to my Rottweilers if I hadn't. horrible, horrible, horrible- I wouldn't wish it upon MadB on his worst day in the PS3 forums.
One more thing that annoyed me to no f'n end- the cutscenes. Cutscenes! Cutscenes aren't supposed to intrude upon gameplay- they should be there to assist in the storytelling and action. Every 5 focking seconds there seems to be another cutscene. How in the F am I supposed to get these damned controls down and fly this stupid damn dragon when everytime I think I have something locked-on some stupid f'n cutscene pops up?!?! GAH!!
All in all, this game was let down. Like I said, I was waiting for this game since the launch of the PS3. Even through all of the constant delays I had high hopes for this title, only to get shit on.
Go to hell, Factor 5, and take your disappointing shit game with you.
OK, maybe it's not as 'mini' as I wanted it to be.
Reviews differ wildly even on our little site I guess. It was BioShock that ruined it for you, just admit it
Best. Review. Ever!!!
That was fantastic.
