GYG Review: "Ghost Squad"

[Grant]

Next week's review is coming to you a little early, since I need to be spending time putting together a new comic book pitch over the next few days. More details on it if anybody cares.

This week's review is for Ghost Squad for the Nintendo Wii. If you haven't played it, but have played the arcade version, you should still get something out of this.

Mahalo.

GHOST SQUAD
Publisher: Sega of America
Platform: Nintendo Wii
Adjusted Score: 3/5


It's no secret that the American videogame arcade is rapidly dying a horrible death -- for me to even say it aloud is like asking "Who else has noticed there just aren't as many buggy whip manufacturers anymore?" Those bygone days are just that, and it's entirely possible that more than half of the people reading this review have no recollection of the types of places I mean, unless they have easy access to a Gameworks or a Dave & Busters, both decent purveyors of gaming stations. (The primary differentiator in these two establishments, I have found, is their restaurants -- D&B is a great place to eat, whereas Gameworks serves food designed to punish the diner for being too lazy or too stupid to go elsewhere.)

But modern arcades like the ones mentioned above have been making their bread and butter by catering to the casual arcade thrillseeker, choosing to truck in what I call "arcade rides" more so than actual stand-up games. These rides are designed for unique gameplay that cannot be easily reproduced in a home setting -- games like House Of The Dead, Daytona USA, and Dance Dance Blow Out Your Eardrums With Jap-Pop Nonsense. Because these "arcade rides" aren't easily reproduced and are predominantly played by casual players, they also have a longer shelf-life, which means a ride-game like Cruis'n World might still earn a reasonable take more than 8-10 years since its release.

Still, we are nothing if not a home-based gaming culture, so it was inevitable that some of these games would eventually make their way home. And so it goes with Sega's Ghost Squad, a nearly 3 year-old shooter-on-rails that has been quietly released for the Nintendo Wii.

In case it's not patently obvious, I have come to bury the arcade ride game... not to praise it. And let's throw the first shovel-full of dirt on this title.

Ghost Squad puts you in the shoes of one of two paramilitary neutralizers whose speciality, apparently, is to rescue the President. (Evidently he gets into a lot of trouble because his rescue is featured in two of the game's three missions. Somebody obviously needs to put a bell on his neck or something.) The game pretty much puts you on a conveyor belt through each location, with minor choices along the way to change up your path, and lets you pump hot lead into hundreds of poorly-paid, poorly-aiming terrorists.

First of all, let's talk about the length. It's short. For me to write more words about it would mean putting more thought into it than the programmers did, so let's not mince words. There are three major missions, each taking you roughly 10-12 minutes to complete. That's it, that's all, and don't forget to tip your waitresses at the end of the night.

Gameplay uses the Wii-mote minus the nunchuck as the light gun, and reloading is as easy as pointing off-screen. Easy, right? I thought so too, until I found myself ready to go see a carpal-tunnel surgeon after an hour of dedicated play. The Wii-mote may also be used with the Wii Zapper attachment, which may help somewhat, but be prepared for some hurtin'. And not the kind I usually like, since no one is dressed in a leather miniskirt and brandishing a ping-pong paddle.

As far as presentation goes, the graphics look a little less polished than they did in the arcade, but that's pretty much to be expected. The Wii, despite having a notable fun factor, is still basically a last-gen console and we can't really expect champagne on a beer-budgeted machine. There is a lot of noticeable tearing during scenes where character models overlap, and character faces still have that wax museum quality. The game also has that mildly amusing Resident Evil "master of unlocking" quality to it, so the Japanese-to-English translation of dialogue resulted in a bemused double-take a couple times.

As to the fun factor... well, what little there IS proves fun while it lasts. There's a smidge of replay value once you've finished the missions by going back through to choose new paths and use newly-earned weaponry... but the game just isn't designed for long-term enjoyment. You'll get everything you need from this game in less than 2 days of play. It was never designed for home players, and it shows.

Still, there's a part of me that wants to cut this game a lot of slack, because it IS a value-priced title at a little under $30. That said, I think there was a lot of potential to make this game into more than just a strict arcade port. If nothing else, it might have been nice to see Sega include another shooter-on-rails in the package -- one called Confidential Mission, a James Bond-style riff from Sega in 2001 that saw a limited release solely on the now-defunct Dreamcast platform. Including that in the box and charging, say, an extra $10 might have been a nice compromise and definitely would have increased the long-term viability of this release.

I think the lesson we can take away from this title is that there's probably a reason modern-day arcade rides don't make their way to the home arena very often. These types of games are designed for bright, splashy, in-the-moment fun in public venues. Once the neon lights of the midway go dark, all you're left with is a mediocre title that's more designed for a quick hit of fun than a long-term experience. The advent of the lucrative home-based gaming market all but extinguished the video arcade save for these dinosaurs we left for the casual game-players.

My friends, the arcade is dead. Long live the arcade.

[Peench]

Nicely done.

I want more info on the comic!

[Desi Cuse]

Nice job