18 Things a Grown Man Should Never Have

[Lord Sam]

Every great writer deserves a decent editor...

Originally Posted by pickleL7

So I said to the cop, "The name of my penis is Pickle."

He asked me how I got the black eye, and I told him I got it from a friend that came over to my house and took my last beer. The cop said, ''Wow, just for that?"

"No," I replied "I also called his wife Fugly."

I then snatched back the beer and opened it with my favorite bottle opener that reads, ''24 Hours in a day, 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?"

He then asked me for some more cash to buy some beer, I said sure. I reached under my futon and came up with a $1.29 and a hand full of hair. He then called me “The Dude” as he made his way out the door. As I sat and waited, I tossed some old sox's in to my Nerf hoop because I used the ball to wash my dishes a few days back.

About five minutes passed and my friend came back; he told me that they would not sell him the beer because he had no ID. This was a problem because I lost my wallet a few weeks back and had no ID as well. Then I remembered that I had an old passport. Sweet!

With couple of high fives and knuckle taps I was out the door. On my way to the store I bumped in to a kid and he spilled his Coca-Cola slurpee on my lucky shirt and then called me a fag. I know I could have kicked the crap out of the little kid, because my fifth-grade karate teacher told me I was good, and if I kept with it one day I could go to the Olympics. But I did not want to take the time; I needed beer and I needed it now!

With the $1.29 I had, and the $2.50 my friend put in, all we could get were a couple 40-ouncers.

I paid for my beers and I was on my way. I could not wait to get home to drink my beer so I opened mine on the way and that is when I ran into the cop.

The first thing he asked me was my name. I told him my name and he asked me for some ID. I gave him my old passport and he asked me if there was any other way he could get a hold of me so I gave him my email (hookedonafeeling@hotmail.com).

He then made me pour my beer out and sent me on my way. I walk into the door to my house my friend asks what took me so long, I told him the story and we split the beer into a couple of Chuckey Cheese cups that I stole a few weeks back because I liked the mouse picture.

This is the post we are submitting for Post of the Year - 2008!

[pickleL7]

Hahaha,Thanks Sam but with all that editing you have to be sick of it by now

And I missed one on the list.So I might have to rewrite the whole thing again and you might have to edit it again

[AlphaQ GehaD]

Posted By Lord Sam the edited version

The fist thing he asked me was my name

Fist Sam? first is what you meant, or do you prefer it your or Pickle's way!

Pickle you forgot to tell us your Wii Id...mines Hank.

[Lord Sam]

Good eye! I fixed it (for now, until Pickle adds to the mess then it's time to start all over again)

[Thornes70]

wow, I'm guilty of 11/18. Who came up with this lame list? LOL it should be "you're cool if you have any of these."